People were rushing all around Victoria Station as I hurriedly checked for the public wifi that Google had assured me a month ago would exist. I probably put too...
1). LOSE WEIGHT: Oh yeah, let’s start big, shall we? Pun intended, because I hate myself. This is the top resolution for an eating disorder girl gone lazy, I’m...
This is Chelsea Laine Wells reading HOBBIES INCLUDE #5, the very Spesh New Year's Edish, by Brian Alan...
Wrap everything up in the same exact wacky Rudolph in a speedo wrapping paper but don’t write anyone’s names on the tag so when somebody looks disappointed when opening...
Jingle Bells is on loop in Burger King. And not even the full version but some minute and half hybrid that is all chorus. At first I...
Welcome to part two in Sean Kilpatrick’s ongoing series on bat-shit crazy artists.
Congested by his rank into a delinquent calf at the altar of the state, Jack Henry...
WITH BONUS AUDIO BY Michael Seymour Blake! Hobbies include... —letting my cat lick the mental illness from my beard. —drunkenly convincing loved ones that Goodfellas is actually mandatory Christmas viewing. —reenacting the scene...
If you leave Charlotte and are headed to Columbia, SC, you only have two ways to go. The first is I-77, a bone straight blade of...
WITH AUDIO NARRATED BY BUD SMITH. BONUS! Hobbies include... —ignoring the huge life mistakes I’ve made by obsessing over the tiny editorial mistakes I’ve made. —cancelling plans based on the unreasonable...
Read or listen to the audio, narrated by the author herself... 1. The waiter with the enormous aborted fetus head and thin orange hair who picked fries off the...
Old people freak me out.
I think that started back in 6th grade, when I stayed at my grandma’s place for a few weeks while recovering from...
Below, you'll find a list Brian Alan Ellis's Amazing Hobbies:
—realizing that having hobbies/passions has pretty much ruined my life, so…
—fantasizing about someone playing a sick...
Welcome to part one in Sean Kilpatrick's ongoing series where the incomparable author offers us the 'skinny' one of many bat-shit crazy (and beloved) artists. Enjoy!
Egon predicted the...
The first time I allowed a stranger to photograph me naked, I was unemployed, weighed 140 pounds, and had really bad hair.
I had just...
I first heard about Suicide Girls when I was in college. It was a much smaller community back then, only a few hundred ladies worldwide, but there was...
Back in college, when the only jobs I had were work study, I witnessed an exchange that has come to represent that needling aspect of laboring in the service...
Sex sex sex. It's everywhere these days. It has become a startling epidemic in our time: sex. Everywhere you go, there is sex. I wake up in the morning,...
It happened at the grocery store first. The woman checking my things looked at me with a corner smile. “Things been goin’ good lately?” Lately? That word was an...
