The following is the fourth and final installment of many kickass excerpts from Brian Alan Ellis’s new book A Series of Pained Facial Expressions Made While Shredding Air Guitar
POEM ABOUT THE TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL MY BUDDIES AND I WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE BATMAN AND ROBIN
And I said I’d meet them in there ’cause I had to piss and after I peed I walked into the wrong theater, which was packed, and I obviously couldn’t find my buddies so I sat somewhere in the back and didn’t realize the movie was already ~45 minutes in so when it ended I thought, Man that was a horrible, horrible movie, but at least it was short, and then afterwards, when my buddies didn’t come out of the theater, I realized what had happened so I snuck into a screening of The Lost World, also ~45 minutes in, and I hated that movie too, and though the Batman movies eventually got a lot better, the Jurassic Park movies only got worse, and my life was/is whatever
A Series of Pained Facial Expressions Made While Shredding Air Guitar: Poems, Observations, Lists, Letters, Notes, Bullshit Aphorisms, and General Tales of Ordinary Crabbiness (House of Vlad Productions) is out now. Visit houseofvlad.tumblr.com, and BUY THE BOOK.