Please enjoy this reading from the collection Quick Fix by Catch Business, out now from 2fast2house. This collection of poetry interprets the paradoxical nature of caring for others with moments too embarrassing to forget and the occasional reclamation of hope. Thanks for these these, Catch. You rock.
i give
i want to be something feared but attractive
heavy as film
alone here
in my head
wondering
how i’m feeling
this phone reminds me of holding a peach
i want to give you you
tunnel visions
into myself
*
separated myself
unknowingly
frowning
i decide
my language
no one else even
cares
it’s been shaped
the same as yours
we just use
in different ways
when you call me
and can’t hear me
i’m like typical
i’m like
i’m falling asleep
creating distance
between u and us
i’m like
your shadow
i expect
too much
waiting
for something
some feeling
to escape me
*
never got your number
trying to connect with you thru an album you mentioned to me the one day we got to hang out and we weren’t even hanging out but you found a way to mention laying in bed with a joint and pot of jasmine tea and i can imagine you imagining me doing that with you like i was imagining in that moment / you never really know what the other person is thinking but i thought if we were off the clock i would try to find a way to kiss you in the real way people show affection cause i think we’re both the type of people to show affection that way / i used to need to text the person i was into all the time then i broke up with my bf and my life changed and it’s been months and now i can’t help but wish i had your number or the chance to ask you questions about your past that make me closer to you but you’re far away like literally and maybe that’s what i needed cause if you were here i’d tell you that the people i like i love and how the opposite of love is fear so i feel pretty lonely all the time / i think when you get back if we hit it off i’d be afraid to leave again which is love and i just hope i’m not too eager that maybe you understand some of what i’m saying / i’m not trying to hold you to one place but i’d like you to come over / if you can when you get home find some way to ask for my number because i’m just as into you as i think you’re into me and that makes me vulnerable but you’re the one who has travelled an unreachable distance for something you needed to believe in
*
i need a new companion
i was part of your process
what you didn’t want to repeat
thinking like me
in tiny details
i find myself
i don’t want to turn it off
i just want someone else
to run my imagination for me for a little while
everything i said i can’t remember but you can
what do you look like when you think of other people
a body and a context
make something that impresses me
