The following is the first of many kickass excerpts from Brian Alan Ellis’s new book A Series of Pained Facial Expressions Made While Shredding Air Guitar
NOW IN HI-FI!
ACADEMIC THINK-PIECE ABOUT THE DUMPSTER BEHIND WHERE I WORK
Homeless people like to hang out in or around the dumpster behind my job. Sometimes you’ll toss a bag of trash in and hear somebody groan. Today, I accidentally hit a homeless person when I swung open the dumpster lid. He poked his head out from behind the dumpster and said, “Next time check to see if anyone’s back here when you do that.” I asked him why he was back there. I was kind of pissed. He said, “Got nowhere else to go,” and then laughed really loud. “Oh, okay,” I said, like his answer made total sense. Then he laughed some more. [Cue Seinfeld theme music.]
A Series of Pained Facial Expressions Made While Shredding Air Guitar: Poems, Observations, Lists, Letters, Notes, Bullshit Aphorisms, and General Tales of Ordinary Crabbiness (House of Vlad Productions) comes out March 2016. Visit houseofvlad.tumblr.com, for more information.