a heated house
she walks in laughing
room to room, a ghost of
her own making.
there are twelve empty tallboys
there are twelve hollow tall men
they are all existing off each other,
your eyes shine at me.
the sun mimics you
in heat.
in heat is your body against mine
we lack a purpose yet to exist
you against me
i against you
the pillowcase smells of your sweat
and my sweat and her sweat.
*
holding dirt
i mourn who i have been,
will be,
could have been most
of all.
i am dirt mixed with salt.
nothing grows from me.
you have only loved me
in the sun when i am
mostly
in the shade.
*
reflections in a tottenham august
six am, a rave in Tottenham
there are lines of something
that tastes like tylenol /
we are all carrying grief
like it is light
but we are just accustomed
to four am reachings /
i am always reaching for solidity
the bumping of your teeth
against my teeth / break my teeth
the red of my mouth spilling
into the dark of your mouth /
i have never loved bruises the
way i love your bruises / on my
jaw there is a dark spot you gave
me / inside of me i carry you in my
cunt / the only protection and warmth
i have left in me / to carry / i invite you
in /
___________________________
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